This is how i fear I will end my life. With some chaotic slip of judgment that will deliver me to a sticky and unsavory end. The thought of aging, becoming old terrifies me. Watching those cornerstones of strength turn to dust before my eyes is absolutely horrifying. The only solace I have, or you have for that matter is that there is no escape, it is part of the linking that makes the living human.
As much as this thought makes me want to go fetal for the remainder of the day suck my thumb and pound a quart of whiskey, I have been granted with a saving sense of humor that dissects and portrays such a fate in a more savory light. Scoping out what is important, and what real power we have over the inevitable wave of mortality comes the calming of mind. Shrugging off your fate may seem lackadaisical, or nihilistic at best but really its the build in mechanism that keeps most of us from pumping two loads of buckshot into our brain before morning tea.
Seeing oneself change like the seasons is not a preferable affair. Especially when parts of you being falling off or wilting like some plant matter. When the realization that you are a mere mortal finally becomes priority number one on your agenda it not only stings because of the sheer truth it stabs you with, but also because it befriends you in a similar way your arch nemesis would. Now a constant, no more temerarious frolicking through the underwear section feeling fabulous about your body.
More age=more work, this is no secret and nearly every adult can look at this statement with apathetic revere. Almost disgust, resigned to the fact that, this is the way it is, and has been so long I cannot remember anything else.
Fortunately for us poo poo heads, boring and arduously laboring old people. We have those little monkeys running around our knees to remind us. To translate what life was like so many eons ago, when the simplest of things made us laugh, and giggle. I look at it with puzzlement everyday, sometimes I battle it, completely out of misguided ire. My vision is not where it should be, but sometimes it is, and those are the times I cherish