So far so gone

I have this fantastical dream that some day, some how I will get caught up with my life. By caught up, I guess I mean that “Ive accomplished something” feeling. That feeling of I am the master and commander of my domain. A feeling of relief and joy, similar to that of a long pee that finishes up with a shiver. But to this day that thought remains a fantasy. Every day that passes by seems to add its own kinetic push to the merry-go-round of life faster and faster, until one day Ill be barfing on my shoes. Dizzy, and alone, I fear Ill wake up old and ignorant trying to remember where it all went.

This weekend was a fairly calm one. We did manage to see a comedy show, and hit a 5yr olds b-day party. Which really is two comedy shows, the later funny because of how the children are finally so preoccupied they let their parents out to play. The parents stand around, usually not knowing how to properly interact with each other, with a sad disdainful look in their eyes. A window provides the only escape they will ever know.

All joking aside, which does provide for quite the elevated ski slope, children’s parties can prove non the less than interesting. Watching these strangers, and they practically are, talk about conversation pieces that you only relate to because you feel pity for the other person not having the appropriate quota for adult time this month. They go on about this and that, chopping up the remaining respect you might have for them with their lackadaisical rhetorical banter. But the good intention is always there. Because they did not intend their invitation on this special day to cause your suffering, but inadvertently it has.

More extras in your life’s movie, another scene added to the collective. One you directed in the evening of your popularity as a director.


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